Ok, so this might be an observation about our current society or maybe just a rant. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a bicultural household and Swedish manners and customs are different.
But really… what is up with the disappearance of common courtesy? It’s something I’ve noticed lately. Certain new pop stars (who shall remain nameless) have started putting forth airs of ungratefulness for their newfound success.
Whenever I see interviews with this one person in particular, I start to feel my stomach turn sour. This girl does nothing except cry onstage about how “stressful it is to be successful”, is consistently rude to interviewers, and often takes to TikTok talking about how her fans are “creepy”.
As an underground musician, this infuriates me. I would give anything to be able to have that kind of success sharing my art and doing something that I love, and I can confidently say that every musician out there who hasn’t “made it” feels the same way. To have so little graciousness, to be so rude, to have so little regard for the struggles of those who would give anything to be where she is, makes this a pretty yucky person in my book.
The sad thing is, in my opinion, this person has released the most genius body of work released in pop music in decades. But the haughtiness and crummy attitude of the performer behind it make me appreciate it much, much less.
I went on a bit of a rant in my instagram stories detailing “The Corgan Effect”- when a musician is such an a**hole in real life, that their body of work ceases to be relevant. I don’t know if this is an officially-coined term or not, but I use it in reference to the face that Smashing Pumpkins was my favorite band in high school, and I can no longer even listen to one song all the way through because it’s difficult for me to get that bad taste out of my mouth… I can’t help but be distracted by the fact that the guy gives the air of being such a jerk. The art becomes meaningless.
This has occurred with other big-name acts such as Kanye West, Morrissey, and more recently, actress Blake Lively for her flippant attitude regarding themes of domestic violence in her latest film “It Ends With Us”.
So I guess it really begs the question:
Is being polite worth it?
Maybe I’m biased, but in my book, it’s a resounding “yes”. Having a bad attitude is, and SHOULD be, bad for business.
I think that in the current climate of most of our socializing being done online, it’s much easier to hide behind rude comments and behavior on social media. I have to remind myself that I am a millennial. We were the last generation to use telephones more than texting. We HAD to get customer-facing jobs when we were young, because there was little-to-no other way to make money. I guess I have to be forgiving of the younger generations, because they never lived in that world (or if they did, they don’t remember it).
But still, I think that people in general could use a refresher on basic etiquette. Setting boundaries is still possible with a smile and a kind word. If you’re not feeling like being cheerful around company, you can excuse yourself and go home until you do. There’s nothing wrong with that! But don’t let your bad feelings or attitude get contagious. Nip it in the bud.
Growing up in Seattle, people are pretty forthcoming with feeling bad. Honestly, sometimes expressing happiness or joy elicits a negative reaction in that city (a big part of why I left). And I get it, it’s ok to be honest about your day. But how about not making it everyone else’s problem?
I think niceness needs to be normalized. I think people don’t remember the value of a simple “Hello”.
I think we’ve learned to fear each other because more and more, we lack connection.
I know none of this is really profound, but it’s been on my mind.
Be courteous. Be gracious. Be kind!
Norse Western 